Monday, October 6, 2014

I'm just sitting here thinking about what I want to do for the rest of the day.  Yesterday my landord gave us some cupcakes!! They were really good! So I'm thinking about making them a pie one of these days.

It's crazy looking at those leaves falling down...actually it's somewhat depressing.  The winter's coming again.  My least favorite time of year.  The only thing I don't mind about the winter is the holidays.  I don't know about any of you, but I like nice Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.  I'm really excited about this year because I get to go to two family's dinners.
I grew up as an only child so I've never been to a huge holiday dinner or anything.  It was always just my mum, dad, grandpa, my two cousins, my aunt and uncle, and my other uncle.  This year, Jarred wants me to come to the dinner his family is having :3  There are A LOT of people in his family, too. Only problem with this?  They all get presents for each other at Christmas and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to get or anything.
Oh Christmas is only 2 months away, too.  Oh man.

********So I have decided to start another blog.  It's going to be pretty much the same thing, but I may find a specific thing to write about.  Who knows.  This new blog is going to be at:  

I hope you all decide to follow my new blog.  Maybe it will be more interesting than this one :P
Have a wonderful day :33

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

It's just another morning and I'm trying to figure out what I want to do today.  I think I may clean or make a pie.  Or go for a jog (ha ha ha).  Not making fun of those serious joggers out there or anything, but I can't do that s**t.  Maybe if it was dark out and no one could see me it would be nice. I'm not sure why, but I'm really self conscious about people seeing me run?  And I probably looked like an idiot the last time I tried it xD  Imagine this: a girl who probably looks either emo or like a skater girl running down the side of the road...well, I just started fidgeting with my necklace.  But I didn't want to take it off because I didn't want to lose it.  That thing is very special to me.  Anyways, I'm pretty sure I looked stupid (lol).

Jarred and I take Stumpy to this nature trail thing to walk him and there is a creek there.  We decided to go fossil hunting on Sunday and we found a ton of them.  That was a lot of fun.  

Um....Cassy gave me some of her old shirts that she didn't want anymore.  They were all pretty much plain except for one.  When Jarred saw it, he was all "Nice!  It's a Game of Thrones shirt!" and I had no idea what that was.  So he pulled it up and played it for me.  It's an alright show.  I've only seen 6 episodes and have no idea what's going on (I'm going to start over).  He then told me there was a book and I was (O.O).  I asked him to get it from someone he works with so I may get to read it tomorrow!! :D

So Jarred's at work currently.  I get to pick him up :D  Obviously, he has a vehicle, but we have to do stuff with it later.  It needs an oil change and I think we're going to do it together when he gets out.  Speaking of oil changes, when I got my car, it was due for one.  So I bought the oil and the filter myself and went over to my parents' house.  I did everything.  My father just talked me through it.  I felt good after changing my own oil :33

Last night his cousin called and we got to skype with her.  She showed us a little of where she was staying.  I was surprised at the end of the conversation when she was picking on me for not calling or texting her.  I never knew she actually wanted to talk to me (lol).  

So, yeah, I miss the days where I would take him to work and pick him up.  When we first started going out, he got that job.  He would always ask if I wanted to stay the night and it became a regular thing.  Then I got a job.  I obviously still came over to his house and I would take him to work the days that I had to work.  Then when I got out, I would pick him up.  It was perfect.  Then it pretty much stopped when I was moved to closing (I think I mentioned it before that it was 7:30-1).  For those who know what it's like working a night shift, and living half an hour/45 minutes away from work, you would probably know it's a b****.  
Everyday he would go to work at 7 in the morning and work until around 6.  Then sometimes I would pick him up and rush to work.  I would be there until 1 or 1:30 then drive home.  By the time I got home it would be about 2 and I wouldn't be able to sleep until 4 or 5.  Then he'd have to leave at 7.  :3 

This is just different.  I don't think I've been this happy for a while.  Yeah, it sounds somewhat cliche and I'm sure there is someone who is thinking I'm trying to make them jealous, but it's not what my intention is.  I've grown up a little.
For the last 4 months, I've reflected myself and what I've done to people.  I wasn't a great person.  I did things mostly for selfish reasons.  I hurt a lot of people and have made people mad.  This makes me think of Jarred.  He had told me about his past and how he had come to terms with who he was.  He told me that he wanted to be a better person so he thought of the things he could change that would make him better and he did them.  I think I've finally started to do that.  

I'm sorry to those who I have hurt or used.  I was acting on anger that was built up for years.  With that serious note, I'm going to end my entry for today.  I hope you have a good day.

Oh, I'm also thinking of starting another blog.  Something with more meaning than crap about me.  If I do decide to start over, I will let you know.

Friday, September 26, 2014

Hello everyone!! (Probably consisting of two people) haha.
So much has changed since I last wrote in here!!  I finally got a car last month :3  I have been in the process of making it all pretty-like.  I put a sticker on the back...and that's as far as I've gotten.

Jarred and I moved into an apartment together in July.  His brother gave us a bearded dragon and then we got a little weiner dog named Stumpy.  He's the cutest!!  He'll sit in your lap and just look at you with his little fuzzy face.  It's adorable!  :33  We went to these weiner dog races and everyone who walked by had to stop and pet him lol.
It was funny, when we first moved in together, everyone was all "oh, you're not gonna get along...blah blah blah", but it's been 3 months and we're fine.  We have random conversations like "if Stumpy could talk, what would his voice sound like?"  That was one of the best ones xD

I also made a new friend named Cassy.  She's awesome.  Also is the only girl I know of around my age who loves tattoos and reading as much as I do.  We may hang out this week sometime :3

When Jarred first brought me to his house to meet his family, I was really shy and didn't really say much to them.  Then I wanted to dye my hair and he said his cousin could do it.  So we went down to his grandma's one day and his cousin was there.  I asked her to help me and she said we could do it a couple days later.  And we did.  Then a few days later, Jarred's friend Jared and his cousin came over and we all sat around talking.  It was fun because I actually spoke!!! O.O  Anyways, after that I got over some of my anxiety around people and his cousin kind of became my friend.  She moved to another state, though so I'm kinda bummed.

July 4th weekend was awesome.  We went to see fireworks with his mom and her boyfriend, his brother and his girlfriend, his uncle and aunt and a few other people.  They did some hotdogs and we walked around...and then I fell in a ditch and almost punched his friend in the face :3  Don't really remember the fireworks, though, probably because I slept through them :/

What else is new....hmmm....
The day we moved in this apartment, my parents helped us and we decided to go to lunch.  We got to this restaurant and got our order when I saw a familiar face looking at me.  It was my best friend from middle school!!!  I hadn't seen her in years.  So she gave me her number and we hung out that night and talked about stuff that has happened.  She didn't really end up being someone I still wanted to be friends with.  She was a b**** and I worked with her and that was no fun.

I'm also taking a semester off of school to figure out what I really wanna do and I'm probably going back in January.  Possibly to a different school.  Maybe I'd see less people I know there :3

I also got a new phone.  I hate it so very much.  It's Jarred's cousin's old I Phone.  No.  Never again will I have one of these.  It's slow and the camera sucks a-s-s. -,-  The good thing is that my number changed!  No more creepy people bothering me :3

Well, I should probably walk Stumps.  I'll write in here again soon hopefully.
Au revoir!! :p

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

So I know I haven't written anything in here in a while...I've been super busy.  I moved again. xD  Hopefully by the end of this week I'll have my own place.  Then maybe I can get another job.

At work last night they were talking shit about me.  Well guess what.  Maybe they should invest in a vacuum!!  But I'm not going to frustrate myself thinking about it. :3  Except I have a short story to tell.  So I've been staying at Jarred's house and he lets me use his car to get to work every night (I've been working 7:30-1am).  So I went to work last night and had to pull over like 3 times because his car was acting up (the back tends to pop open so I had to close it).  Work was crap and I was not in a good mood because it was supposed to rain and, you see, his windshield wipers don't work.  We have to fix that.  So we finish up about 1:05 this morning and Jarred texts me and says it's pouring at his house (he lives about 40 minutes away) and he wanted to come out and drive because he figured it's really dangerous.  I told him it was completely dry where I was and if it started getting bad I'd pull over and let him come out and get me because I wasn't going to die.  As soon as we walked out of the doors it started raining.  I was a little melodramatic and told Crissy (my mum's friend/ manager) she could replace me if I ever died then I peeled out of the driveway (I was really irritated and acted like a kid, yes).  But long story short, it stopped raining as soon as I got out of town.  I only passed one car and the lightning was beautiful!  Got to his house around 2 because I drove slower.  Then I walk in the door and he handed me an egg sandwich he made for me :3  It was really good and I don't even like eggs.

What else is new?  Hmmm...
Oh (haha) one time this guy told me to listen to this very hateful song and said it was to me.  So Jarred and I were playing music and I played that song.  Jarred goes "daaaamn..."  He says the guy is definitely not over it and then we started talking about more important things. 
I don't know if I wrote it in here already, but I got my tongue pierced.  It didn't really hurt and I was surprised.  It did take me a while to get used to it.  One time it fell out when I was eating.  I nearly freaked out (haha).

Human - Christina Perri is a good song.  A Thousand Years is a really good song too.

So I realized something last night while I was working.  I've been really weird in relationships since my first boyfriend when I was 14.  I never cared for these guys as much as they did for me.  The last one was the worst break up I'd say and I'm assuming he really loved me.  So...I have also had a problem with pretending to be someone I'm not. 
When I met Jarred in class, I started doing the same thing.  In fact, for the beginning of the relationship, we argued a lot.  We even broke up once.  All because I couldn't open up to him.  But in the last few weeks, it's changed a lot.  We get along so much better. 
Back to what I realized.  I can never make up my mind for certain things and that causes me to get bored with people easily.  But then I imagined Jarred.  He's different.  We broke up and after like half an hour, we were talking again.  That's never really happened.'s somewhat obvious what conclusion I came to.  Plus he wakes up at 2am just to make me food xD 

My parents also met him in the time I haven't written in here.  They really like him.  My father really really likes him! (O.O) 

But anyways, I have to go.  Bye, bye.

Monday, May 12, 2014

So I'm sitting here on my bed once again.  Today was my first day at work and it was pretty stressful to be honest.  More stressful than I thought it would be.  I am excited to go in tomorrow, though.  Hey, it gives me something to do.  11-4 :3.
Is it weird that I'm listening to Frozen music?  I remember when I watched that movie.  I cried at the end xD.

So I had dance earlier this evening and I saw a dance to Human by Christina Perri.  It was so beautiful :D.  I wanted to be in the senior class so badly.  Maybe next year if I do dance...AH! The recital is in 6 days.  Crazy stuff right there!

I guess I'll write about my feelings (like anyone truly cares).  But, yeah.  I guess we have a stray cat hanging around our apartment.  It's adorable :D and I wanna kittynap it when I leave (hehe).
Today at work, these two girls who I work with were nice enough to come up to me and introduce themselves.  One helped show me where everything was.  Then I was cleaning tables when some guy I went to high school with walked in.  It was kind of weird...
There were like 5 20-some year old guys who kept looking at me weird.  They were probably wondering why I was standing there so awkwardly.  One smiled at me and then I looked at the ground xD.  Yes, that's how awkward I am around people.
At least I didn't see my ex boyfriend from when I was 14.  I saw him in town a couple days ago with his girlfriend.  Bleh.  Gross.

I think I'm going to tape my dances this year.  Then put them up on you tube.  Or something.

Really?  I'm sorry that's how I felt about a certain something. (-.-)  You can be mad at me, but I'm not sure what good it will do for you.
Wanna know something funny?  Since January I've changed a lot.  I don't take nearly as much crap as I used to from people.  Of course, that sometimes gets me in trouble. 

Okay, goodnight.  :3

Friday, May 9, 2014

Nothing much has happened lately.  Other than things not going as planned which is just somewhat annoying.  It feels like allergies are showing up and they're making me feel like crap.  But everything is just peachy.

Jarred started work on Wednesday and it's been depressing without getting to see him.  Yes, I haven't seen him since Wednesday night and I'm about to cry.  Last night there was a thunderstorm and all I wanted was to cuddle with someone.  Instead I got to lie there alone and imagine it. 
I'll hopefully be starting work in the next month.  Hopefully.  If not, I'm going to have a B.F. (reference from the movie White Chicks ha ha). But really.  I want to start working because it gives me something to do, but it seems that everyone is taking their sweet time and it's frustrating. 

Dance is almost over and, if I don't start this coming week, I'm going to have 11 hours of dance.  I'm not sure if I already mentioned that, but it's crazy.

The other night, I was sitting in the kitchen with Jarred when we both saw a mouse run across the counter top.  I thought it was adorable and started getting all excited.  He just stared at me like "what is your problem you weirdo?"  Then my roommate walked in and I said, "Hey, guess what.  I just saw a mouse run across the counter..."  She replied with "You're kidding me!" She was also backing away into the living room.  It was funny.
I have a speech today...and I can't tell if I'm nervous or if I really don't care.  I mean, it's the last day of classes.  Why should I care what anyone (except the teacher, of course) thinks of my speech?

I'll keep whoever is reading this updated if they really care. Bye Bye, TAY TAY!!! :P hehe

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Today was a very exciting day!  I think I may have found a second job to help me get my own apartment without roommates (ha).  Not like I don't like my roommates now, but it would be nice to live on my own. Then I could have my pet hamster named Hamster! :D  Or a kitten. 

In my solo, I fall to the floor on my knees and it's already taking a toll.  I have bruises all around my knees and on my shins.  I can't wait for many more practices.  And the extra hours I'll be putting in.

So yeah, I went to an interview today and the manager showed me around a bit and told me she'd call me  back Monday to let me know if I got the job.  First they had to do a background check xD.  It's okay, I've never gone to jail (contrary to some people's beliefs). 

Random thought of the night!  I'm wearing a shirt Jarred let me borrow and it smells like him :3  Is it weird that I like how he smells?  Haha, at least I'm not sneaking into his house to steal his undies or something.  That may creep him out a little.
Random story of the night!  I was just sitting here on my bed typing and listening to music when all of the sudden...*COUGH COUGH* (my roommate's boyfriend on the other side of the room).  I jumped so badly then started laughing because I realized it was only him.  Not some giant mouse trying to kill me or something.  OH...what if it was a giant killer worm?! (O.o)  I should write a movie about that and call it "Low Budget Movie About Giant Killer Worms".  At least I would be completely honest about how much it will probably suck.  It's not like it would ever get into a movie theater. did I even come up with that crap?! xD

*singing*  ...we can live like Jack and Sally if we want where you can always find me and we'll have Halloween on Christmas and in the night we'll wish this never ends... :D

I made a playlist on my I pod called "TheplaylistofmylifeifIhadone" and it has the most random songs on there...and I should add a couple others...
Yeah, it's random, but I just remembered it was on there.

Ooh.  I wanna explain why I picked these songs and the memories that go along with them.

1.  Everything Back But You by Avril Lavigne.  I dedicated this one to my first boyfriend years ago.  He was a huge jerk. 
2.  Revenge by Mindless Self Indulgence.  Psh.  I feel this way when someone makes me angry so it's to anyone who seriously p'd me off in the past.  Oh, and it reminds me of S********** because it's MSI (haha).
3.  What The Hell by Avril Lavigne.  I've felt this way quite a bit, though I never made out with my boyfriend's friend.  Don't really plan on it (bleh :x)
4.  The Divine Infection by Motionless in White.  It's kind of obvious.
(If you're getting bored with this and have no interest, just skip over this section.)
5.  I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace.  I once thought up a music video idea to this song, but I don't have the equipment or the people so it never happened :(
6.  Better Than Revenge by Taylor Swift.  I hate when girls do this.  It's happened to me many a time.
7.  Pick Up the Phone by Falling In Reverse.  I've dated guys like this unfortunately.  A lot of them... :/  What a waste.
8.  Life Must Go On by Alter Bridge.  This song changed my life.  A few years ago, I was going through some major depression and one night I was all alone in my room and I heard this song. 
9.  All I Really Want by Alanis Morissette.  This totally describes me! xD 
10. Amaryllis by Shinedown.  I have this weird thing where I name my plants and my first was an Amaryllis plant so I dedicated this song to him.  His name was Charlie.  Yeah, I get it...I'm a strange chick.
11. No More by Three Days Grace.  The line "what do we stand for when we all live in fear?" was something that I completely agreed with and, eventually, I'd like it get it tattooed somewhere.
12. Shut Me Up by MSI!  This is the song that S********** let me listen to on our first date.   I think about that night when I hear the song...and I wish the damn memory would just go away!!!

I've probably made any normal person bored.  So I'll leave the rest of this for another time.  I'm closing out. Night.