So I know I haven't written anything in here in a while...I've been super busy.  I moved again. xD  Hopefully by the end of this week I'll have my own place.  Then maybe I can get another job.

At work last night they were talking shit about me.  Well guess what.  Maybe they should invest in a vacuum!!  But I'm not going to frustrate myself thinking about it. :3  Except I have a short story to tell.  So I've been staying at Jarred's house and he lets me use his car to get to work every night (I've been working 7:30-1am).  So I went to work last night and had to pull over like 3 times because his car was acting up (the back tends to pop open so I had to close it).  Work was crap and I was not in a good mood because it was supposed to rain and, you see, his windshield wipers don't work.  We have to fix that.  So we finish up about 1:05 this morning and Jarred texts me and says it's pouring at his house (he lives about 40 minutes away) and he wanted to come out and drive because he figured it's really dangerous.  I told him it was completely dry where I was and if it started getting bad I'd pull over and let him come out and get me because I wasn't going to die.  As soon as we walked out of the doors it started raining.  I was a little melodramatic and told Crissy (my mum's friend/ manager) she could replace me if I ever died then I peeled out of the driveway (I was really irritated and acted like a kid, yes).  But long story short, it stopped raining as soon as I got out of town.  I only passed one car and the lightning was beautiful!  Got to his house around 2 because I drove slower.  Then I walk in the door and he handed me an egg sandwich he made for me :3  It was really good and I don't even like eggs.

What else is new?  Hmmm...
Oh (haha) one time this guy told me to listen to this very hateful song and said it was to me.  So Jarred and I were playing music and I played that song.  Jarred goes "daaaamn..."  He says the guy is definitely not over it and then we started talking about more important things. 
I don't know if I wrote it in here already, but I got my tongue pierced.  It didn't really hurt and I was surprised.  It did take me a while to get used to it.  One time it fell out when I was eating.  I nearly freaked out (haha).

Human - Christina Perri is a good song.  A Thousand Years is a really good song too.

So I realized something last night while I was working.  I've been really weird in relationships since my first boyfriend when I was 14.  I never cared for these guys as much as they did for me.  The last one was the worst break up I'd say and I'm assuming he really loved me.  So...I have also had a problem with pretending to be someone I'm not. 
When I met Jarred in class, I started doing the same thing.  In fact, for the beginning of the relationship, we argued a lot.  We even broke up once.  All because I couldn't open up to him.  But in the last few weeks, it's changed a lot.  We get along so much better. 
Back to what I realized.  I can never make up my mind for certain things and that causes me to get bored with people easily.  But then I imagined Jarred.  He's different.  We broke up and after like half an hour, we were talking again.  That's never really happened.  So...it's somewhat obvious what conclusion I came to.  Plus he wakes up at 2am just to make me food xD 

My parents also met him in the time I haven't written in here.  They really like him.  My father really really likes him! (O.O) 

But anyways, I have to go.  Bye, bye.

So I'm sitting here on my bed once again.  Today was my first day at work and it was pretty stressful to be honest.  More stressful than I thought it would be.  I am excited to go in tomorrow, though.  Hey, it gives me something to do.  11-4 :3.
Is it weird that I'm listening to Frozen music?  I remember when I watched that movie.  I cried at the end xD.

So I had dance earlier this evening and I saw a dance to Human by Christina Perri.  It was so beautiful :D.  I wanted to be in the senior class so badly.  Maybe next year if I do dance...AH! The recital is in 6 days.  Crazy stuff right there!

I guess I'll write about my feelings (like anyone truly cares).  But, yeah.  I guess we have a stray cat hanging around our apartment.  It's adorable :D and I wanna kittynap it when I leave (hehe).
Today at work, these two girls who I work with were nice enough to come up to me and introduce themselves.  One helped show me where everything was.  Then I was cleaning tables when some guy I went to high school with walked in.  It was kind of weird...
There were like 5 20-some year old guys who kept looking at me weird.  They were probably wondering why I was standing there so awkwardly.  One smiled at me and then I looked at the ground xD.  Yes, that's how awkward I am around people.
At least I didn't see my ex boyfriend from when I was 14.  I saw him in town a couple days ago with his girlfriend.  Bleh.  Gross.

I think I'm going to tape my dances this year.  Then put them up on you tube.  Or something.

Really?  I'm sorry that's how I felt about a certain something. (-.-)  You can be mad at me, but I'm not sure what good it will do for you.
Wanna know something funny?  Since January I've changed a lot.  I don't take nearly as much crap as I used to from people.  Of course, that sometimes gets me in trouble. 

Okay, goodnight.  :3

Nothing much has happened lately.  Other than things not going as planned which is just somewhat annoying.  It feels like allergies are showing up and they're making me feel like crap.  But everything is just peachy.

Jarred started work on Wednesday and it's been depressing without getting to see him.  Yes, I haven't seen him since Wednesday night and I'm about to cry.  Last night there was a thunderstorm and all I wanted was to cuddle with someone.  Instead I got to lie there alone and imagine it. 
I'll hopefully be starting work in the next month.  Hopefully.  If not, I'm going to have a B.F. (reference from the movie White Chicks ha ha). But really.  I want to start working because it gives me something to do, but it seems that everyone is taking their sweet time and it's frustrating. 

Dance is almost over and, if I don't start this coming week, I'm going to have 11 hours of dance.  I'm not sure if I already mentioned that, but it's crazy.

The other night, I was sitting in the kitchen with Jarred when we both saw a mouse run across the counter top.  I thought it was adorable and started getting all excited.  He just stared at me like "what is your problem you weirdo?"  Then my roommate walked in and I said, "Hey, guess what.  I just saw a mouse run across the counter..."  She replied with "You're kidding me!" She was also backing away into the living room.  It was funny.
I have a speech today...and I can't tell if I'm nervous or if I really don't care.  I mean, it's the last day of classes.  Why should I care what anyone (except the teacher, of course) thinks of my speech?

I'll keep whoever is reading this updated if they really care. Bye Bye, TAY TAY!!! :P hehe

Today was a very exciting day!  I think I may have found a second job to help me get my own apartment without roommates (ha).  Not like I don't like my roommates now, but it would be nice to live on my own. Then I could have my pet hamster named Hamster! :D  Or a kitten. 

In my solo, I fall to the floor on my knees and it's already taking a toll.  I have bruises all around my knees and on my shins.  I can't wait for many more practices.  And the extra hours I'll be putting in.

So yeah, I went to an interview today and the manager showed me around a bit and told me she'd call me  back Monday to let me know if I got the job.  First they had to do a background check xD.  It's okay, I've never gone to jail (contrary to some people's beliefs). 

Random thought of the night!  I'm wearing a shirt Jarred let me borrow and it smells like him :3  Is it weird that I like how he smells?  Haha, at least I'm not sneaking into his house to steal his undies or something.  That may creep him out a little.
Random story of the night!  I was just sitting here on my bed typing and listening to music when all of the sudden...*COUGH COUGH* (my roommate's boyfriend on the other side of the room).  I jumped so badly then started laughing because I realized it was only him.  Not some giant mouse trying to kill me or something.  OH...what if it was a giant killer worm?! (O.o)  I should write a movie about that and call it "Low Budget Movie About Giant Killer Worms".  At least I would be completely honest about how much it will probably suck.  It's not like it would ever get into a movie theater. 
Wooooowwww....how did I even come up with that crap?! xD

*singing*  ...we can live like Jack and Sally if we want where you can always find me and we'll have Halloween on Christmas and in the night we'll wish this never ends... :D

I made a playlist on my I pod called "TheplaylistofmylifeifIhadone" and it has the most random songs on there...and I should add a couple others...
Yeah, it's random, but I just remembered it was on there.

Ooh.  I wanna explain why I picked these songs and the memories that go along with them.

1.  Everything Back But You by Avril Lavigne.  I dedicated this one to my first boyfriend years ago.  He was a huge jerk. 
2.  Revenge by Mindless Self Indulgence.  Psh.  I feel this way when someone makes me angry so it's to anyone who seriously p'd me off in the past.  Oh, and it reminds me of S********** because it's MSI (haha).
3.  What The Hell by Avril Lavigne.  I've felt this way quite a bit, though I never made out with my boyfriend's friend.  Don't really plan on it (bleh :x)
4.  The Divine Infection by Motionless in White.  It's kind of obvious.
(If you're getting bored with this and have no interest, just skip over this section.)
5.  I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace.  I once thought up a music video idea to this song, but I don't have the equipment or the people so it never happened :(
6.  Better Than Revenge by Taylor Swift.  I hate when girls do this.  It's happened to me many a time.
7.  Pick Up the Phone by Falling In Reverse.  I've dated guys like this unfortunately.  A lot of them... :/  What a waste.
8.  Life Must Go On by Alter Bridge.  This song changed my life.  A few years ago, I was going through some major depression and one night I was all alone in my room and I heard this song. 
9.  All I Really Want by Alanis Morissette.  This totally describes me! xD 
10. Amaryllis by Shinedown.  I have this weird thing where I name my plants and my first was an Amaryllis plant so I dedicated this song to him.  His name was Charlie.  Yeah, I get it...I'm a strange chick.
11. No More by Three Days Grace.  The line "what do we stand for when we all live in fear?" was something that I completely agreed with and, eventually, I'd like it get it tattooed somewhere.
12. Shut Me Up by MSI!  This is the song that S********** let me listen to on our first date.   I think about that night when I hear the song...and I wish the damn memory would just go away!!!


I've probably made any normal person bored.  So I'll leave the rest of this for another time.  I'm closing out. Night.

I just got back from a 2 hour bike ride which really helped my confused thoughts.  Sorta xD. 

Earlier today I was just kind of standing around by the school and my friend Katie walked up and we started talking and she was talking about how her boyfriend and her were going on a date or something and she wanted to look nice so I offered to help with her hair and make up and all that girly stuff.  Wow, that was a very long sentence.  But anyways, we were in the bathroom and she didn't have anything other than mousse to put in her hair so I started twisting it like dreads.  She was all "omg...I have dreads xD" and we had a bit of a laugh over it.  I may be going on the school radio with her on Wednesday!  So excited!  Because we may just be doing like a talk show type thing.

I've been debating on what I want to get pierced.  First it was my eyebrow back a few years ago, then my lip, then my nose, then my tongue.  Ugh.  I talked to my roommate earlier when she got home from school and I asked her what she thought I should get.  She thinks a little stud in my nose would look good and she said she wanted one too.  What's really cool is we both decided to try to get ours done together next month!! :D  I think we may becoming friends. 

And!  My friend Adam is finally coming over tomorrow so we may go for a walk or something.  I hope it's semi-nice.  Then I can show off my tattoos as Lindsay calls it.  xDD.  Funny story:  earlier she calls me up and asks if I want to go to Walmart with her and her dad.  I had nothing better to do so obviously I said yes.  When they came to pick me up (because it was beautiful out), I was wearing a dude's tank top and some baggy jeans.  I come running out and this kid on a bike is looking at me like (O.O) and I was confused why.  I get in the car and Lindsay goes "are you in some kind of gang or something?" xD wow, Linds.  I was asked twice today if I'm on probation and once before (by Jarred's grandma) if I was ever in jail.  Is there some kind of vibe coming off me???

Kitten was really p***ed at me today and he told me that he didn't want to be friends or something.  I feel like crap and lonely because he was really one of the only people I have ever trusted to tell my whole story to.  For those who actually care, I'm not a very popular person.  Of course, it's most likely because I have problems with people...problems with caring for people mostly.  I didn't learn to stop caring, I learned to stop feeling emotions toward people.  I'm not exactly sure what causes it, but it could have been the "you don't have friends" thing.  Usually when someone's a prick, I stop talking to them altogether.  There's no need for that negativity in my life. 

My bike ride was interesting.  So I was listening to music while I was riding and I saw this guy walking down the street.  He looked miserable.  Suddenly a Nightcore version of...I can't remember the song title and I'm too lazy to go look...came on and it's all upbeat and sounds kind of like something one would play at a rave.  Not like I have ever been to anything like that (low social standing, remember?).  Then as I pass him, I giggled at an image I got in my head.  It's like he's walking down the sidewalk and all of the sudden I pop out of nowhere on my bike with light up gloves and the song playing.  It would have been one of those "wtf?!" moments which was so funny.

So, yeah, I'm just sitting here on my bed writing this.  My roommate is over there working on some type of homework so I don't want to suddenly start giggling like before.  Oh s***, I just did.... X:  Anyways, I'm overly tired or something.  And my stomach is making the most random noises ever like "I know you just fed me, but I deserve more, B****!!!!"  If stomachs could talk, that would be super creepy.  Along with that movie I went to see last night with Jarred xD. It was Transcendence or something and super creepy.  There was a part where pieces of healing dirt were flinging around to possess people!! I'm kidding, but they both die in the end.  I spoiled it, sorry.  :P

Okay.  Night all those...people out there reading this (audience here's silence and crickets symbolizing there is NO ONE there).

Sincerely,
Stalker Tendencies *** I'm not really a stalker, but sometimes I like starting conversations with random people :D  That's how you make friends.  You know, if they aren't too stuck up.

My solo is awesome!  My teacher says I only have about 30 seconds left! :D  I really can't wait until my recital. 
So just listening to What If I Was Nothing by All That Remains.  It sort of makes me think of Jarred and how he told me to listen to it...makes me sad (haha).  It is a really pretty song <3.
I went over to my grandpa's earlier this afternoon after my friend Jeffy helped me fix my bike.  So far it's working fine :3  So thank you, Jeffy if you're reading this.  It was funny because I talked about music for like 3 hours with my grandpa.  At least he didn't seem to be getting bored with me.  He even endured my favorite "screamo" songs xD. 

I have to do a speech next Friday and I think I finally figured out what I want to do.  It makes me nervous though. 

Then tomorrow I go to my parents' to work on a truck and I may be spending the night (joy...).

:D

Jarred and I were hanging out playing music and talking when he gets up.
Him: I'm going to make breakfast.
Me: OOHH!  Wait!  I wanna play something!  *types the name of a song into You Tube search thingy and smiling like an idiot*
(Manic Monday by The Bangles starts playing).
Me:  :DD *really excited and singing along*
Jarred:  *slowly walks out door looking embarrassed*

Haha.  Best moment ever.  The reason it was so funny was because his brother and little kids (I'm not sure if they were his cousins) were right outside the door and they could hear the music.  So while he was downstairs making himself some food, I was drawing on his wall and blasting girly tunes xD.

So I'm rocking out to Manic Monday once again :3 such an awesome song.

Holy crap!  I just realized that I like another of their songs... Walk Like An Egyptian...

Had an interesting experience today.  So I finally got a bike and the tire went flat when I was way across town from my apartment.  And it was snowing.  I got really mad and had to call a ride from my old "roommate".  Let's not get into the story about him right now.  I'd rather forget.

******
Just got back from choir practice and I figured out something while I was there.  I want to start writing little skit things in a journal and one day make claymation with it.  That would be super cool.  And, of course, they would be really random xD and weird.

I would like to learn the guitar part in Last Resort by Papa Roach.  I could see myself rocking out in a band up on stage with a mohawk.  I'm not sure...just being really random.

Well... goodnight.